A Man With A Plan…

Haven’t updated in a couple of months with the awesome (see: not going well) job hunt.  It’s been hard, but I think it’s all finally coming together now, and I’m excited about a couple of prospects that I’ve got in my immediate future.

I want to bring up an idea that I’ve sort of been thinking about over the last week.  We went on vacation to New Jersey, driving for 14 hours (ouch >.<).  I had a long stretch of that drive through Indiana and Ohio at the wee hours of the morning, and I came up with some ideas for a webcomic.

To start, I have zero drawing skills.  I do, however, have a camera and a collection of Transformers .  I spent a lot of the 28 hours in the car pondering ideas for comics, characters, etc…and I think I want to go for it in a month or so when the job hunt dies down and/or I have a job and can afford to take some free time to work on this.  Maybe the comics are funnier to me than they would be to others, but I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot and seeing what I could do.

This blog would work both as a blog and a comic archive if I went ahead with this plan, using the “Comic” category to organize relevant posts.  If it takes off, maybe I go about finding a website to host it, but one step at a time .

I’ve got a few ideas for characters, which I’ll try and post sometime this week (maybe today!).  Let’s see where this goes.

Some stuff about Revenge and The Fallen…

I had a blast at 12:01 AM this morning, and while I feel like I’m walking through a haze right now, I loved my little excursion to go see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen this morning.  I’ll keep this as spoiler-free as I can, and I’ll designate spoilers when they might occur.

Let’s go ahead and get the plot out of the way.  Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is off to Princeton, trying to be a normal kid after the events of the first movie.  Unfortunately, when he touches a fragment of the Allspark and starts to see symbols, the Decepticons have other plans in mind for him.  The Autobots must try and protect Sam from evil while he must figure out just what’s going on in his head, and what it all means when a dying Decepticon prophetically reveals that “The fallen will rise again.”

That’s a pretty basic overview.  I don’t know how much more I could really go into it without spoiling some stuff.  Story-wise, it worked for me. I know for a Michael Bay film, the plot is really more of an excuse to get to the next explosion.  I had no problem following the flow of the story and what was happening, which some other reviewers have been complaining about.  This might be because I’m more of a TF nut than the average critic, but I had no trouble. There were a few big jumps that seemed a bit too quick, such as Megatron, once he’s revived (seen in the trailers) flies out of the ocean to a super secret evil lair in space, but it happens really fast.  He’s up, his thrusters are on, he flies, and then he’s at Evil Station 01.  These moments weren’t that common, but they happened a few times.

My biggest complaint with the first movie was the robot presence. They never really showed up in that movie until you got past the halfway mark.  With ROTF, they were there throughout the movie.  Even if they were just zipping through the desert in vehicle mode, it worked for me.  I felt like this movie was a bit more Transformer-centric, which was partly due to the bigger budget.

Surprisingly Fun...

These two are new robots, Skids and Mudflap.  A lot of TF fans were worried about these guys, because they sounded like they were a bit more toilet-humor and gangsta wannabes.  I liked the Twins a whole lot more than I thought I would.  They were funny, interesting, somewhat annoying at times, and they kicked ass when they had to fight.  In addition to these two, the Autobots are joined by the Arcee sisters, a set of three motorcycles who operate as a collective consciousness and Sideswipe, a Chevy concept car with gigantic blades on his hands.  A last minute addition to the cast was Jolt, who had scanned a Chevy Volt at some point and is there mostly for GM product placement.  Then again, these movies ARE more or less a two hour toy and car commercial.  Jolt gets no lines, he’s seen as a car a few times, and a robot once or twice.  It’s a shame, because I thought he was the coolest movie design for the Autobots.

For the Decepticons, we’ve got a whole lot happening.  Constructicons who combine to form Devastator, Soundwave, Sideways, Demolishor, The Doctor, and a lot of unnamed/unidentified protoforms.  Soundwave is a fan favorite, and a pretty neat bot in my opinion, but his role in this movie is very limited.  He takes the form of a Cybertronian satellite and he, unfortunately, spends his time in space.  The time he IS on screen, however, he is creepy, controlling, and Frank Welker’s voice acting sent a shiver down my spine when Soundwave started talking.  It was a bit disappointing, but he definitely oozed Soundwave in my book.  I just wish he had done more .

My biggest complaint would be how the characters had very little in the way of actual characterization, and I feel this way partly as a Transformers fan, but I think as a general moviegoer as well.  The returning Transformers were just fine or tremendous improvements over the first movie.  I absolutely loved the scenes with just Megatron and Starscream bickering.  Starscream is supposed to be trying to backstab Megatron while feigning subservience and it worked so much better than the two lines of dialogue they had with each other in TF1. As for the new bots, I thought Skids, Mudflap, Wheelie, and Jetfire were pretty well-characterized, but the rest really fell by the wayside  I’d have liked more of the Arcee-bots’s personality, Sideswipe’s, and some of the other Decepticons. Jolt, I can understand because he was a last minute addition, but I wanted more of the others. I felt like the Decepticons in general only existed for the Autobots to blow up. Can none of them muster enough of a fight to stand up to the Autobots?  At the end of TF1, Starscream is the only one to get away and it seems like the Decepticon numbers are thinned just as much this time around as well.  I liked the cartoons because there are a few who stick around to destroy the world, and occasionally a few new faces join them in their conquest.  That’s not so much the case with the Transformers movies.

Is that you?

I think they could have really improved the characterization by adding a few scenes of the Autobots and Decepticons alone, in their respective headquarters, discussing what needed to be done.  I think the way they chose to characterize Jetfire should have been applied to the other new bots, which if you see the movie, you’ll understand what I mean.  Jetfire didn’t have a ton of screentime, but in the short amount of time he was there, I could understand what kind of robot he was and what he was in there for.  He didn’t need some long-winded monologue–though he does give one at the midpoint—just a few scenes about his demeanor and dialogue and there we go.  I definitely think more dialogue would have solved this problem because when it came to the new robots, it was heavily slated towards Skids and Mudflap (partly because they’re the ones running around with Sam).. A scene in some evil looking Decepticon boardroom would have helped me to follow the end battle because I kept wondering how the Decepticons had coordinated such a large attack, and I wanted to know how many of them had been here for a long time.

The last bit, I don’t know what I’d call it. I had this same feeling when I left the Watchmen movie, where I felt like I filled in some of the gaps because I had read the comic book. Maybe because I’ve been following the movies like a hawk, but I had a bit of a “What?” moment towards the end especially. Transformers that were supposed to have died are back with little explanation, and when Devastator forms into his gigantic combined mode, there’s a second set of Constructicons running around who are supposed to make up Devastator. I had to wonder though if I only noticed these because I’m a fan of Transformers. Would the average movie-goer notice that Devastator’s right leg was also running around, trying to hunt Sam. It seems too big of a thing to be a continuity error. Starscream had some plot with “hatchlings”, a kind of protoform state for the Transformers, and I simply assumed that he was cloning the other Constructicons. Problem is, I’m filling this gap in myself.  A couple of lines of dialogue would have fixed several of these problems.

There are some character deaths that felt a bit rushed and ridiculously easy.  Especially when some of these characters seem like they deserved more.  I won’t say who, but I personally felt a bit let down with them.

He kind of sucks...literally...He's a Hoover for the desert!

A part of me felt that ROTF is a bit of a stepping stone. It improved on the original by adding more robots on screen and some back story about how the Transformers came to be, which was partly helped because of a larger budget.  The problem was that these characters are, for the most part, simply there. I’d hope that TF3 can actually give them all some measure of dialogue and let the audience see what kind of robots they are.  Make me give a damn about them a bit more.

Was it the best? Probably not. Was it better than TF1? I’d personally say yes, but there’s a lot that still could be improved upon for TF3. Was it worth the price of admission? Definitely. This movie just felt fun in my book, which is what matters.  I had a blast watching the action and storyline unfold, and there were moments when I would get goosebumps and feel like a kid again.  I don’t think it was as bad as the haters and critics are making it out to be, but the former would hate the movie regardless and not many critics (I would guess) are fans of Transformers. I certainly enjoyed my two and a half hours this morning, and I plan on seeing it again.  Definitely worth the price of admission.

Less Threads

Threadless

I don’t know how many people know about Threadless, but lately I’ve come to love it.  They produce more artsy/silly t-shirts with unique images.  People submit their artwork and favorites are nominated for t-shirt printing.

I first learned of it through the Ctrl-Alt-Del webcomic, when Tim Buckley talked about a design he liked titled “Eclipse!”

Ka-POW!

This sold me on Threadless right when I saw it.  I thought it was clever, funny, but it wasn’t a crappy Hot Topic t-shirt with a smart-ass saying on it.  I have my fair share of those, but these strike me as something unique and fascinating, that really stand out from your normal t-shirt.

Unfortunately, because of the nature of Threadless, they can’t just keep making prints of each t-shirt and they do run out of stock.  You can request to be notified of when/if they’re re-printed, but I had thought that once they were gone, they were gone.  I never picked up Eclipse! when it was available for a myriad of reasons, but mostly because I had the money, but no method of safely purchasing it online (ironically, now I have almost no money yet I have a credit card I use for online purchases…).  However, today I was surprised today to learn that they have reprinted the t-shirt.  Without hesitating, I bought it and picked up a $9 t-shirt on sale as well.

Threadless is pricy, no two ways around that.  At about $18 per t-shirt, and about $7 shipping (at least for me), they take a bit of money to pick up.  I would definitely say they’re worth it, hands down.  They had a sale earlier this month, for t-shirts at $5 and $10 price points, but I’d suggest subscribing to their newsletter to keep up with new prints and possible sales.  Threadless is worth the cost of admission.  Check them out and make up your own mind!

Let’s all go to the lobby…

I’d like to take a moment to talk about a great little game I picked up for $10 at Fry’s.

It's like The Sims, but you actually do something...

I was finally able to get my desktop up and running long enough to install this game.  I started somewhere around 3-4pm yesterday.  Before I knew it, it was 9pm and my eyes almost fell out of their sockets.

The best way to describe this game, if you’ve never had a chance to play it, is that its a hybrid between the SimCity ideas and The Sims.  You’re in charge of a studio lot, and you get to decide the layout of the buildings, what you want to build, and what sets you’ll need to make your movies in the end.  Unemployed people show up outside your buildings and you can assign them to do whatever you need them to.  Need an actor?  Drop them onto the Actors part of the building!  Someone not working the lights properly?  Fire their ass!  So when the basic infrastructure of the studio lot (trash pickup, maintenance, camera crews, etc…) is up and running, you can start hiring your actors.

When you’re picking your talent, there are three different ways to classify people.  Actors, Directors, and Extras.  Extras wander around the lot and automatically fill themselves in with whatever movie you’re working on at the time.  Very little managing of them is required.  Your Actors and Directors, however, introduce the concepts from The Sims.  The difference between them is very little (at will, I could have a Director take on the lead role in a movie while an Actor directs, so they’re not set in stone) but they are the lifeblood of your studio.  They’ll have needs that need to be taken care of, such as worrying about their image or they’re too stressed out, so they can stay happy and perform well when it comes time to shoot a movie.  Their mood directly influences how well your movie will perform when it comes time for reviews and scoring, so its good to keep them happy.  For the most part, you don’t HAVE to micromanage them like you do in The Sims series.  They’re smart enough to go chill at the bar or shoot hoops if they’re too stressed, they know when to relax, and its good to give them some time in between shooting movies where they’re not doing anything (I’ve only recently figured that one out ).  You can follow them around closely and attend to every need, but there’s so much to do that you don’t really have to.

This is definitely one point where The Movies outstrips The Sims in every way.  To make more money in The Sims, you need to grind up your skills, often sacrificing your Sim’s well being to do so.  With The Movies, you can set up your Stars to work on developing other skills, such as their Comedy or Horror skills to perform better, but because you have to manage the entire studio lot, there’s always stuff for you, the player, to do.  I’ve only set the game to turbospeed twice, and both times were to speed up the production of the movie I created just to see what it would look like.  There’s so much to do with in the game that the minor crap you need to take care of really never gets boring.

The other thing that’s nice about The Movies is that you feel like you’ve accomplished something in the end.  You might churn out crappy movie after crappy movie, but there’s a final product that’s graded and it lets you know how you’re doing.  Moviemaking is as hands-on or off as you want it to be.  You need to have Scriptwriters create something, then place it in your Casting Office.  From there, you pick who you want to have direct the movie, as well as star in the Lead Role and the Supporting Roles.  They’ll rehearse, and you move the script over to begin shooting when that’s finished.  They get their costumes, props, equipment, and head over to the set.  The directions for the Actors are all laid out in the script, and the Director takes control of everything, but you can double click the set they’re working on to change the kind of reaction/emotion that will be expressed.  Theoretically though, once you have the movie begin shooting, you could never actually see what’s happening until its released and simply address concerns as they arise (Director wants to go get drunk, Actors are too stressed out, etc…).

The quality of the movies are pretty lackluster, but that’s to be expected.  The Star’s model and costume are superimposed over blank stand-in dummies which move along a scripted path.  There isn’t a huge variety, and I did actually see the same movie twice out of my studio (unfortunately, you can’t flog the Scriptwriters with barbed whips in a public display ), but they’re comical.  No dialogue, mostly they just mumble in the same kind of gibberish you get from The Sims, and they’re still entertaining.  You can create your own movie scripts instead of letting Scriptwriters do it automatically, but the interface was a little baffling at first.  I don’t think I can accurately judge it because I don’t feel like I’ve fully explored it yet, but I can see that there is an awful lot of potential for growth and custom movies.

Outside reviewers critique the movie, and their reviews let you see what problems you have with the studio.  If they don’t like your studio because of an actor, boy will you hear it.  It got so bad that my studio’s rating improved a bit when I sold off one of my worst actors .  It’s a clever way of telling you what you’re doing right and wrong, and while I haven’t figured out how to fix some of the issues, it’s a great, clever, and quite seamless feedback system.

Award shows add another dimension that The Sims simply does not have.  Every five years, you get to participate in the Lionhead Award Ceremony, where your studio is matched up against four-five other studios in several different categories.  In the rational part of my brain, I know they’re just pixels and a script running, but when your studio gets nominated for something, you do a little fistpump-cheer and when you actually manage to WIN an award, you jump out of your seat.  For your first game, chances are good you won’t win an award until the 1940’s unless you figure it out early (I stumbled a while until I finally won an award), but the excitement and thrill is there.

Maybe The Sims 3 incorporates new, different ways of making you feel like you accomplish something, by downplaying the skill grinding because you can go and do other things.  From my hours of experience playing both The Sims and The Sims 2, compared to my four hours of The Movies, the latter has been far more interesting and exciting.  I really only enjoyed creating families and houses in The Sims, and rarely did the actual gameplay hold my attention.  Like I said, I lost several hours last night to The Movies without even realizing it.  This game is ridiculously fun, enjoyable, and accessible.  Pick it up if you get the chance.

As a sidenote: Once I figure out how to do it, I’ll post my favorite movies (or hilariously awful flops) here, starting with the 1926 turd that was The Intergalactic Quagmire, my first attempt at screenwriting that was the result of stumbling through the Script Writing Tool

We don’t read that here…

This was a topic that came up while I was working on a paper for one of my Education classes, and I felt it was important enough to bring up here

Censorship.

Not those silly black bars covering up the naughty bits on TV or the latest COPS victim, but literary and thought censorship.

"I win."

In my first year here at Augustana, I had a teacher who was only going to be here for one more year.  During class, she was talking about The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger and commented about some aspect of the book, particularly the use of the word “fuck”.  I don’t remember the reason or context she used to swear, but she did.  I was a bit shocked, seeing as I was still a Freshman and had never actually heard an instructor swear, but it didn’t phase me.  The next class period, she tells us that someone in the class went and talked to the Dean of the college, offended that she swore in class.  This launches her into a half-hour tirade about censorship and how people are quick to censor material they find uncomfortable.  While I hadn’t thought much of it at the time, her rant really opened my eyes to my own ideas about censorship and the effects it can have.

As an English teacher, I’m torn.  On the one hand, the English half of me believes censorship is wrong in all its forms.  We need to experience ideas that are shocking and controversial to discover what they mean in our own lives.  How can you formulate an opinion about something you’ve never heard of?  In some cases, they may be situations or ideas we’ll never ever encounter in our lives, but who knows what the future may bring?  At the very least, it limits the scope of knowledge, it tells people what to think and how to think it, rather than letting them discover on their own.

See no evil?

The Teacher half of me realizes that there are compromises.  Ideals don’t always work out when it comes to practical application.  First grade students probably shouldn’t read Catcher, but that doesn’t mean they should be prohibited from exploring these works when they’re older.  The important point, in my mind, is to stress its teachability.  Is this a book/text/idea that is vital to my students?  Are there other works that offer a similar experience without all of the controversy?  Am I teaching a book just to be controversial?  These are real questions that have to run through my mind when I’m considering a controversial topic or idea.

For the general population though, my biggest problem with censorship stems from ignornace.  Like my first example, people hate Catcher because he says the word “Fuck” in the book.  Books are banned not because they evoke dangerous, hateful ideas, but for trivial bits that people can’t get past.  For example, my college had a choice between I Am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe, and another book.  Wolfe’s work was turned down because incoming Freshman students wouldn’t be able to handle the drinking, drug usage, and sexual issues presented in the book.  I read the book myself and found it to be infinitely a better and more relatable book to incoming Freshmen who are not going to be sure of who they are.  The book is about self-identity, figuring out what you want to do with your four years of college and the kind of person you’ll become.  Is there drinking?  Yes.  Sex?  Big yes.  Drugs?  Yeppers.  I’d imagine these are nothing new to the incoming class of Freshmen (save for the most sheltered of them) but we lose a good message because someone else decides what you can and cannot handle.

If you’re going to have a problem with a book, have a problem with what it’s actually trying to say.  Get beneath the surface level of the text and really look at what the book is trying to say.  Don’t hate it because it says “fuck”, encourages witchcraft, or has two boys kissing.  Move past what’s written on the page and actually think about why the author wrote what he or she did.

I’ll leave you all with this fantastic little article, written by George M. Eberhart out of American Libraries

New Silly Reasons to Ban Books

 ALA’s Banned Books Resource Guide contains the top 10 silliest reasons to ban a book, but American Libraries has identified six more. Here they are, in no particular order:

 1. It encourages suicide-induced reincarnation. Laurence Yep’s Dragonwings was challenged at the Apollo-Ridge schools in Kittanning, Pennsylvania, in 1992 because it might encourage children to “commit suicide because they think they can be reincarnated as something or someone else.”

 2. It causes polarization. J. D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye was removed in 1997 from the curriculum of the Marysville (Calif.) Joint Unified School District for its profanity and sexual situations. The school superintendent removed it to get it “out of the way so that we didn’t have that polarization over a book.”

 3. It might cause Buddhism to erupt. D. T. Suzuki’s Zen Buddhism: Selected Writings was challenged at the Plymouth-Canton, Michigan, school system in 1987 because “this book details the teachings of the religion of Buddhism in such a way that the reader could very likely embrace its teachings and choose this as his religion.”

 4. It encourages children to think independently. Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War was removed from the Grosse Pointe (Mich.) School District library shelves in 1995 because it deals with “gangs, peer pressure, and learning to make your own decisions.”

 5. It needlessly breaks wind. Bruce Coville’s My Teacher Glows in the Dark was contested in the classrooms and school libraries in Palmdale, California, in 1995 because the book includes the words “armpit farts” and “farting.”

 6. It discourages learning English. Ellen Levine’s I Hate English was challenged by a school board member in the Queens, New York, school libraries in 1994 because “The book says what a burden it is they have to learn English. They should just learn English and don’t [sic] complain about it.”

Source: Eberhart, George M. “New Silly Reasons to Ban Books.” American Libraries 29.10 (Nov. 1998): 26.

 

Thanks for reading

Why oh why? Do you hate yourself that much?

Alrighty, some backstory and then the meat and potatoes.  I’m currently enrolled in a Speech Communication class that deals with intercultural communication.  The stuff like how Americans are more individualistic, whereas Eastern nations are more collectivistic, why we do things one way, they do them another, etc…the overriding message of the class is one of cultural relativism: We do things our way, they do things their way, and no one is really “right”.

Enter Wednesday’s lecture on body altering.

She tells us we’ll watch a video about people who alter their bodies.  First and foremost is a tribe who lives in the jungle.  They actually sharpen their teeth to points so they can look more attractive within the village.

I mean, who wouldn't find this attractive?

What they do is they sharpen a machete or other similarly sharp instrument, then take a hammer to the backside and chip away at the teeth.  All they get in the way of anesthetic is a green banana to bite down on if the pain is too much.

This is all fine and good under a cultural relativism model.  If this is what beauty is defined as in their culture, then alright.

When it comes to body altering, my mind said we’d go watch them stretch out someone’s neck.  Oh no!  We’re travelling to LA next to watch a man get butt implants.  Afterwards, we go to China where we see a short man have a surgery that breaks his legs and stretches them out, so he can be taller than 4′11″.

Again, cultural relativism would state that its all OK because different cultures define beauty in different ways, and that’s where my problem is.

The overriding reason for all three situations was to “look better” to either themselves, their partners (“If I sharpen my teeth, my husband won’t leave me!”), or to prospective employers.  I have a serious problem with cosmetic surgery when the only reason is to fit some definition of beauty.  If you needed plastic surgery as a result of some horrible accident, or to fix an existing (and real) problem, that is one thing and absolutely OK.  All of the examples were to fit some societal ideal of beauty and perfection and that…that to me just says you’re weak.

I wonder how nosejobs work for Optimash Prime...

I’m not one to go on major”screw society” binges, but there’s something wrong with a cultural mandate that makes you feel like you need to go under the knife to be beautiful and does nothing to stop it.  That is outright wrong.  Case in point: the man wanted butt implants because he felt like he wouldn’t be happy without them.  That’s almost immediately followed by footage from the operation and the surgeon says they have to be careful where to cut, otherwise they could hit his sciatic nerve and paralyze/kill him.  You want to gamble your life just to be pretty?

If you think you don’t meet society’s expectations of beauty, you need to learn to accept it and move on.  Anyone who thinks plastic surgery is the answer is weak, plain and simple.  You have to have ridiculously low self-esteem to think surgery is the answer to your image issues, to be happy with your life.  As a whole, we need to redefine beauty, to realize that real beauty isn’t what you’ve done to your skin.  This might tread some clichéd waters, but we need to look past what people look like and start loving and appreciating people for who they really are.  Speaking as an American, I’m disgusted by how shallow we can be sometimes.  We make beauty into this unatainable goal, and god help you if you don’t live up to it. 

It is wrong on so many levels that we allow ourselves to be so shallow simply because it is easier to judge a person.  Heaven forbid we actually try to get to know someone.

Pulling Teeth From Chickens

Why is it so hard to motivate myself to do anything?

Here I am with a ridiculous amount of time on my hands today.  It’s now approaching 10:00pm, and I have plenty of things I need to do relatively soon, including a job search and writing a new story for class.  I have spent all day doing nothing.

Well, almost nothing.  I was abusing the Omegle chat client for awhile with hilarious results.

Point is, now that I’m stuck re-balancing the life of a student with my professional goals, I wind up in a deadlock and procrastinating something fierce.  Tomorrow I’m making a conscious effort to fix that and accomplish something, but I won’t hold my breath.

I don’t know.  Normally being unproductive doesn’t phase me.  Today it hit me like a sack of doorknobs and even though I felt it, I let it keep on hitting me.  The title of this post is something my cooperating teacher said during student teaching.  Some days, it would be easier to pull teeth from chickens but you just have to suck it up and move on.  I think that’s a pretty good mantra to adopt.

On a lighter note, here are several Omegle chats I saved because they were priceless.

For starters, I posed as a representative from Vault-Tec…

Quote:

Connecting to server… You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Would you be willing to live in a Vault from Vault-Tec? Stranger: meow Stranger: i dont like vaults Stranger: claustrophobic You: They’re state of the art Stranger: tell me Stranger: why they are? You: The finest quality robots to serve every need You: All the amenities of home Stranger: uhh you did not tell me robots were included Stranger: but robots don’t have hearts Stranger: and are not warm like humans You: And you can wait out the coming nuclear apocalypse You: Some of them are, for various reasons Stranger: wasn’t this in 50’s? Stranger: there is no nuclear apocalype coming anytime soon You: Yes, but we at Vault-Tec are committed to ensuring the survival of the human race Stranger: yet you are making robots Stranger: so tell me more Stranger: square footage Stranger: cost/benefit ration Stranger: ratio* Stranger: etc. You: Sure thing Stranger: …? You: Each vault encompasses enough space fo 1000 underground residents Stranger: wow You: You’ll be assigned your own individual rooms Stranger: that is quite an investment Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Quote:

Connecting to server… You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: Would you be willing to live underground in a Vault-Tec Vault? Stranger: um… Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Didn’t bite. Until I tried a third time.

Quote:

Connecting to server… You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Would you be willing to live in a Vault from Vault-Tec? Stranger: OH GOD YES You: Fantastic! Stranger: where can i sign up? You: Would you like to hear of the features of our Vaults? Stranger: absolutely You: Alright You: Each Vault can handle 1000 occupants You: You’ll be given your own living quarters You: There will be plenty of amenities to keep you busy while you wait out the impending nuclear holocaust You: And I don’t think I need to tell you that repopulating the human race will be imperative. You: Still interested? Stranger: What makes a Vault-Tec Vault stand out above rival products? You: Other ‘vaults’ may promise security, but only Vault-Tec Vaults are equipped to handle the changing needs of their occupants with robot servants and supplies to last for quite a long time. You: Each Vault is tailored to the region they’re in, making each Vault experience unique to the individual occupants Stranger: ‘quite a long time’ does not sound very specific. How long can I live in a Vault-Tec vault? You: There are enough supplies to last for several generations in the worst case scenario, but we at Vault-Tec feel that within several years after the bombs fall, mankind will be able to return to the surface. Stranger: in that case I would be a fool not to consider this further. But I still need to ask a couple of questions You: I understand. Investing in Vault-Tec is a very big decision. Stranger: Would I be allowed to bring my family into the vault with me? You: Absolutely. Vault-Tec believes that the family unit is essential for survival, and you will be able to bring your immediate family with you. Stranger: But is it a family friendly environment with baby-changing facilities? You: Yes. For families, we have differentiated living conditions capable of handling the needs of a newborn infant. Stranger: We also have an ‘uncle’ who lives with us, who is not strictly related, but we have become quite fond of him. Would there be a place for him in the vault? You: While Vault-Tec policy only extends to immediate family members, there are policies for situations such as yours. Your uncle would be able to join you in the Vault at a discounted rate.

This went on for a ridiculous amount of time.  I cut it short for its length.

Quote:

Connecting to server… Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Are they gone? Stranger: hello Stranger: whoes You: I think I still hear them You: They scurry in the sheets and geocache in the attic. Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Quote:

Connecting to server… You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: Hey, are you an american sports fan? You: What’ll it cost if I say yes? Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Last one here.  Definitely will say you should check this out just to see what its like.  And perhaps, I’ll screw with your mind a bit.

Quote:

Connecting to server… You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Hey there Stranger: hi You: Think you could answer a question for me? Stranger: i can try You: Alright You: I hope you can help You: *clears throat* You: What is the average air speed of an unladen swallow? You: No one seems to know. Stranger: hmm Stranger: i suppose it depends on what you mean by average Stranger: an overall average, including all times and conditions? You: Yes Stranger: do you wish to know the number or equation? You: Number Stranger: mph or m/s You: mph Stranger: approximately 24 mph You: Excellent. My doomsday device will soon be complete thanks to this information. Thank you kind Stranger! You have disconnected.

Operation: Creation

Well, here we are at the start of this blog.  I have no clue where it’ll go, what its going to be about, but I know it is going to be quite the journey.

Maybe it would be fitting to introduce myself?

My name is Andy.  I’m 21 years old, and I’ll soon graduate from college with a degree in English and Secondary Education.  Hopefully, I’ll have a teaching position in August (that’s the current goal right now).  I’m anaverage person.  I love writing, playing videogames, geocaching, hanging out with friends, fairly normal stuff.

I also have an unhealthy obsession with Transformers if you haven’t caught on yet

So that’s me, in a ridiculously small nutshell.  Like I said, not sure where this is going to go, but I’m willing to try

~E